mccain's newest trophy (work) wife

so, olympia snowe, susan collins, christine todd whitman, condoleeza rice, and kay bailey hutchinson can apparently go fuck themselves. mccain really prefers the younger women, and not just for fucking.
all of the above women, though either slightly or way conservative, would all have been better picks. were the people advising mccain on a running mate on strike? in comas? palin will not deliver union votes, despite her husband's union status- the republican party has been at war with unions for decades now. palin and her husband can't possibly be so goddamned clueless they don't know this- they probably just don't care. palin will not deliver puma votes- those bitches ain't holding out for hillary because they want palin's grubby mooseburger-covered hands in their uteri. palin will not deliver the youth vote- obama has that almost completely locked up with the fact that he's proposed actually doing things differently, instead of just insisting that the same old shit is really new radical fertilizer. palin actually annihilates mccain's whole experience argument- we're supposed to believe that someone who's political career was on the city council and mayor's seat of a town of 8,500 people, and governor of a state of 700,000 for less than two years is qualified because she had the legal power to call the national guard for help? and if she's taking credit for stopping ted steven's bridge to nowhere, can she at least share the credit with jack cafferty?
palin brings mccain one thing (well, two, if mccain is looking for eye candy). palin brings mccain some red meat. the right-wing base of the republican party was never very enthusiastic about mccain, and even rumors of a pro-choice vp caused these nutjobs to throw back their heads and howl at the moon. palin ends all that. palin reassures the fuckers at operation rescue that mccain won't actually expect them to stop telling women getting abortions that they're murderers. palin reassures big oil that no one will stop their profits. she reassures the nra that nobody will do anything about illegal guns, or limit in any way the firepower that people can purchase. she may even give new hope to anti-tax fuckheads, since palin's a governor of a state with no income tax, in which residents actually get cash from oil revenues every year. of course she'll have no problem cutting taxes- alaska does very well without personal income taxes. of course, alaska receives more federal earmarks than any other state. but don't worry, governor palin assured everyone in late march that next year, alaska won't ask for so much. so see, she must be a reformer!
and here's the best thing about palin- for all her hardcore right-wing nutjob opinions, she looks normal. she doesn't have a national reputation for hardcore right-wing nuttery, and very few people outside of alaska know anything about the firing of her ex-brother-in-law. so she can actually impersonate a thinking human being. we'll see how good her acting is.

my prediction for the democratic national convention

number of times speakers will tell everyone how important "faith" is to them: 6,789,032
number of times the constitutional ban on religious tests for office is mentioned: 0

elitism is whatever fox noise says it is

cokie roberts is a blessing in disguise. she really does make an asshat of herself, and on national television to boot. she also serves a deeper purpose, even if she doesn't know it: she makes me feel good to be a liberal. i'm so grateful to myself and the people who have influenced me that she and i aren't on the same political side. why the fuck myrtle beach instead of hawaii? who cares if he vacations in a place that seems "foreign and exotic"?!? that's what vacations are fucking for- going someplace really different from home. there was a time when vacations were supposed to teach you about how people could live differently, and learning this was considered good for you. not anymore. unless your vacation reinforces the sameness of your existence, you're.... what? elitist? unless you go where everyone else goes, and do what everyone else does, you're what? elitist?

"elitist" used to have an actual definition, until the republicans decided that the federal government actually deciding federal policy needed a word that would give it a negative connotation. "elitist" used to mean someone who not only thought he/she was in charge of everyone else, but that this was perfectly natural, and that it was all based on nature, so no one else could be in charge. elitism is not, and never was, the idea that studying biology and chemistry might make you more qualified to determine what acceptable levels of pollution on human health are. elitism is also not the idea that taxpayer-funded experts might be a little more biased towards public health than, say, experts funded by companies that pollute. the idea that taxpayers might want their guys/gals working on pollution policy instead of the corporations' guys/gals isn't elitism- it's applying the concept of dancin' with them what brung ya.

the republicans have milked the word elitism like it's a monsanto cow. you could be an elitist if you eat arugula, or even know what a whole foods store is (hint- the answer is cleverly hidden somewhere in the name). really? obama is talking above people's heads because he mentions whole foods? my mother living in a suburban wasteland either goes there or to wild oats, which republicans probably also can't identify. which leads me, at last, to a point. i think republicans are just flinging the term out at random these days. to say that mentioning arugula prices in a state where arugula is actually grown is elitist bespeaks a level of numbnuttery that rivals anything brittany spears has done- ever. okay, i exaggerate, but i am going to keep complaining. the way the republicans are defining elitism to include ever more things, it will eventually include anyone who doesn't eat with their fingers.

and while i'm at it, telling the truth isn't elitism (sorry, hillary, i love you, but you're wrong). i don't trust people with fixations on both guns and religion for a good reason- something's wrong with someone who insisits some invisible sky daddy created the world in six days, and that the government must let him buy something that can spit out the maximum bullets. most of the people who blasted obama the most for stereotyping rural and small-town people would never trust a muslim who loves his koran and his m-16. not every politician is going to act as if small-town america is the real america, and that everyone on the coasts should want to be just like them. and it might do our political system some fucking good if the "heartland" heard the truth about themselves, and maybe took a good hard look in a goddamned mirror. small-town americans have certainly never been shy about calling coastal city dwellers whatever they'd like.

we here on the coasts are the people who had the education, support, and (dare i say it?) initiative to get our asses here. the cities are centers of intense competition- whatever you do for a living, you better do it well, or move back to bumfuck, missouri. the cities are also the centers of intense culture. i can identify, even if i can't read, dozens of languages from each other. i've discovered fine art and performance artists i never would have even heard of back in the "heartland". i see documentaries most americans never get to see about topics the "heartland" could either give a fuck about, or is outright hostile to. i am exposed to people who have amazing life stories. it's certainly possible to live where i live and keep a closed mind- but you have to work at it. the coasts are for people who are not satisfied with conversations about gas prices and property taxes, and thank the people who first established the coastal cities and the people who have stuck with developing them. the coasts are for people who want to think both deeply and broadly. and small-town america doesn't like the fact that some people actually prefer the cities and the people in them to their apple pie/little league perfection. instead of telling yourselves that coastal city people are elitists who want to run your life, knock up your daughter, and steal your house, you could try listening to them. i know small-town america doesn't believe this, but the people of the coastal cities are just as american as they are.

even tim shriver has to admit mccain is a retard

so mccain has actually decided that the fact that people really really really love/admire/actually want to listen to/can stand the sight of obama is bad. i happen to think he's loved because obama knows things, like, the difference between sunni and shia, and how much the price of milk has gone up. mccain thinks its obama's soft dreamy eyes. he likes to go on an on that obama's "not ready to lead". unfortunately for mccain, to lead, you need followers. you need a shitload of people to listen to you and do the grassroots work to bring about political change. mccain's only follower is joe lieberman. and joey l ain't doin' no grassroots work. i don't think that guy even cuts grass.

and on top of mccain's obvious pettiness, he fucks the viewer over! his ad claims he voted to raise taxes on people making $42,000 per year. by $15 per year. for single filers only. oh, that dirty socialist. does mccain understand that tax money goes, when it's not paying interest on the debt, or down the shithole that is iraq, to stuff that also stimulates the economy? like roadwork, or public employees' salaries, or building federal offices? on top of that, the federal government has rules for contractors for fair market wages, so funding a road project might actually stimulate the economy in a way that a new wal-mart just won't . but don't expect a conservative, even a fake maverick, to understand or admit that.

and with that said- what the fuck is obama's problem?!?!?!? why the fuck is he being nice to these world-class dickheads?!?!?!? it's not like obama has some great working relationship with mccain. it's not like mccain is his pastor of 20-odd years. mccain is a shitstain who flew off the handle at him in 2006 because obama thought that a task force on lobbyist reform would take too long, and is now using every opportunity to belittle and outright insult him. mccain's ads always have a whiff of mccain's disdain for obama- you can tell mccain thinks obama has some nerve challenging him. if obama even smiles and enjoys himself for two seconds, mccain acts as if obama has gotten too big for his britches. sorry johnboy, but obama is not a step-n-fetch-it. he's not going to humble himself before your sorry ass. oh, obama will be nice to you, and continue to call you an honorable man, blah blah blah. but why should the guy who beat hillary fucking clinton in a primary she was favored to win act like he doesn't belong on the world stage, and he'll only take the job if mccain suddenly decides he doesn't want it?

i'll tell you why obama doesn't bring out a few sucker punches. he has class. remember, when we used to complement someone by saying they had class? it meant you were a decent human being, even when you didn't have to be. it meant you were never so desperate you resorted to the shittiness that is now john mccain's entire campaign. we don't tell people they have class anymore. i don't know, maybe having class is now one of those elitist, liberal things, and conservatives allow themselves to wallow in an orgy of materialism and pettiness. now, don't get me wrong, i admire class. and i think obama's got it. i thought he had alot more of it before he caved on fisa, but he's got it. but obama needs to channel that class. he needs to have enough class to go before the american people and literally point out every shitty thing mccain's ads have said and implied, and why they're shitty. he needs to look a camera in the eye and say "john mccain has no class, and i feel sorry for him." but obama won't. he'll act like he's got to at least pretend to respect john mccain, because it's some new kind of politics he wants to introduce. i say no new kinds of politics until you've shown you can master the one we have now.

russian guys want me to hate them

are russian guys really ugly? are they all fucking fatties? do they always stink real bad? can they not crack the occasionally funny joke? do they lack flirtation skills altogether? you tell me. because, apparently, in russia, it's necessary for men to harass women employees to get laid. seriously, a judge literally just told the entire world that russian men cannot possibly get a willing female sex partner: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/2470310/Sexual-harrassment-okay-as-it-ensures-humans-breed,-Russian-judge-rules.html

that whole, meet a woman, attract her attention for your looks or wit or both, gain her trust, please her in bed thing is just beyond russian men. they can't do it. they have to make sex a condition of employment or good grades to get laid. they either can't be bothered to actually persuade women to fuck them, or they don't have what it takes to persuade women to fuck them. either way, they suck ass.

yeah, i know, sexual harassment is really about the power. so since i really think this judge is full of shit, i'll get down to it. russian guys like having the power to treat women like shit. why else this decision? but before american guys, or any other nationality where women get some legal protection from this bullshit, get on their high horses, remember something. american women only got legal protection from sexual harassers by winning court decisions, most notably faragher v. boca raton and burlington industries v. ellerth. men didn't simply decide to start behaving better. they had to, or their bosses had to make them, or the company would have to pay.

but the deeper questions are, why do we have to keep explaining what sucks about sexual harassment? and why do men keep doing it even after we tell them how much it sucks ass? do we really have to keep explaining how worrying about what some guy will touch next interferes with our jobs? or do men know, and do it for that reason? or do men just not care whether we can do our jobs? i think it's the latter. they just don't give a fuck. sexual harassment is a little like rape- it's never seen as a man's problem, even though men are the vast vast majority of the perpetrators. it's seen as a woman's problem, because she's the one who has the problem with it. why should i respect men who won't do anything to solve the problem?

so if russian guys don't want me interrogating them for this continuously, or continuing to mock their abilities to get willing sex, they're just going to have to change. i'm not saying switch to writing love poetry overnight. in fact, how 'bout never on the love poetry? all i'm asking is that russian guys mull over the radical notion that they might have better chances of getting laid, and well, and with repeat business, if they actually figured out how to attract women and persuade them to have willing sex. yeah, i know, i may be asking too much.

i wish these guys weren't such assholes

i hate it when someone tells me how cheap something they bought at wal-mart was. does anyone know why the stuff at wal-mart is so cheap? who hasn't read enough news articles on what wal-mart does to its employees? or the poverty of the people making the stuff? or do people know, and just shrug their shoulders and think, "better them than me"?

wal-mart has recently had sit-downs with department heads and store managers to push their anti-union and anti-Democratic Party message. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121755649066303381.html wal-mart is particularly pee-in-their-pants-scared of the Employee Free Choice Act, passed in the House but stuck in the Senate and threatened with George Bush's veto, which would enable a union to be organized if and when more than 50% of a commercial entity's workers sign a card to join the union. oh the horror. wal-mart, and a few allies, are worried that if organizing a union is that easy, they won't be able to talk workers out of joining. wal-mart's current sit-down warns its viewers that if you're in a union, you'll have to- gasp - pay dues! and go on strike! and most importantly, that if labor costs go up, there could be fewer jobs! see the link.

really, there are going to be fewer jobs? i haven't been to a wal-mart for almost a decade, but something tells me that wal-mart doesn't overstaff their stores. the reality is that this is typical union-busting bullshit- that the only way wal-mart (or any business) can run a profitable store is to pay its employees crap. why do we always assume that it's the lot of the worker to be grateful for the pittance she gets? i say that if owners can combine their stakes to maximize their profits, than workers can combine their voices to do the same. after all, wages are the worker's profit. if a corporation can maximize its profits, why can't its employees?

it's this kind of myopic bullshit from wal-mart that makes me wonder if the executives who shovel this down their employees' throats have ever asked themselves why people organize unions in the first place. hint: it's not because they're bored. it's because they're dissatisfied with working for a living but not making a living. well, not dissatisfied- pissed off. they're pissed when the boss breaks the law. they're pissed at getting fired for taking care of loved ones. they're pissed about a buttload of horseshit and unions are how they fight back. so wal-mart can just suck it up.

what is wtf?

if you don't know what wtf? means, please go back to your wall street journal. this blog is not for you. this blog will be about whatever's pissing me off, whether in politics, the arts, or culture. i get pissed off regularly, and when i'm pissed, i go on a bit.
so what pisses me off? what can you expect? here's a partial list (when i say partial, i mean it's the tip of the iceberg):
-people who wear clothes that are obviously a size too small
-just about everything on and about fox news
-people who ask why i'm still not married
-creationism (young earth & otherwise)
i hope this helps. now i'm going to sit back and wait until something pisses me off. it won't be long.