nicholas kristoff is one of my favorite columnists of all time. if anyone is aware of the wars and poverty that currently plague africa, or the scourge of sexual slavery, it's because they read it in a nicholas kristoff column or talked to somebody who did. now nicholas kristoff had decided to turn to his fellow male americans, and ask his readers why they are slipping behind girls in various academic categories, especially ones requiring reading. being the sister of five boys, my first inclination is to point out that guys just don't care about schoolwork as much as girls do. after spending 3/4 of a year in the same french class as my two-years older brother and easily outscoring him, i thought that i had seen this firsthand. but i now realize, after reading the responses that nicholas received, that i only believe that because feminazis forced me to listen to their man-hating diatribes (i have no memory of the incident, but i could have just repressed it). so, to sum up nicholas' readers:
1- boys don't do things that don't personally interest them. since girls will stick with a boring assignment to get it done or because there might be some educational purpose in the work, let them keep doing that. but save the cool, interesting, hands-on stuff for the boys.
2- making a boy sit down, shut up, and listen to a woman tell him something is an insult to his penis, and may make it shrink by as much as 2" over the course of his educational career. the same goes for teachers who want some order in the class. i had previously thought they were doing that because disruptions to class keep their classmates from learning. i now realize that when teachers tell johnny to be quiet and pay attention, they're trying to emasculate johnny so jane will run the world and bring us the nanny state. attention spans are highly overrated, and may be a marxist plot to sap our young men of their essence.
3- boys need more exercise and fresh air than girls. we know this because girls don't complain about being indoors, which means that there's definitely nothing wrong. and let's face it, it's not like there are any playground activities they could do, like jump roping or hopscotch, that they could do without the boys. giving boys the extra activity they need while girls sit inside reading will also nip that whole title 9 thing in the bud.
4- anything written by a woman is chick lit. it should not be taught as if it's a valuable contribution to english-language literature. also, boys seem uninterested in female authors, which is a great indicator of their non-contribution to literature in general. it's not like jane eyre or pride and prejudice have interesting male characters. and besides, the male characters are only a part of the main female characters' stories. that is definitely feminazism. the feminazis want to destroy our natural and god-ordained society by showing women in the lead of a narrative for a change. definitely marxist.
5- make sure your boys get in plenty of video games. it's not like you could require your sons to spend evenings and weekends getting fresh air and exercise. also make sure that every time someone calls your son a sissy for reading anything except tom clancy, you point out to your son that he is, in fact, a sissy. and maybe a marxist. when you're son brings home excellent grades, remind him that football is more important and will get him laid more.
well, these are all great ideas. let's go back to keeping girls more dormant than boys, ghettoizing their contributions to literature, and maintaining boys' naturally aggressive behavior, and watch boys excel. and if some girls get sexually harassed, think women have made no contributions to literature, etc., all the better.
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